Friday, November 13, 2015

Extermination Typo Thread

Please report any typos, misspellings or other errors you happen to find in Extermination in the comments below. This time around I'm going to try putting out a corrected edition every couple of weeks until I stop getting corrections, just to make sure I don't end up forgetting to do it.

In this book I was also experimenting with not exhaustively explaining ever little detail of how and why things happen, which some readers seem to have seized on as an excuse to complain about 'continuity errors'. I may go back and add a few sentences to make certain things more obvious, although I'm tempted to just leave it alone.

50 comments:

  1. I love your books, some of the most entertaining that I have read.
    Note that I have given flattery, time for a complaint, but neither continuity or writing, but of the science behind the story. The radiological weapon that Daniel used seems immensely dangerous not only to the enemy but to the humans he is trying to protect. You say in the book that it takes quite a while to fire from radiation poisinib. If that is true, is it not possible for one of the ape men from going out into the human world to fight, and come into contact with humans, going to cause it to eventually spread to the human race. Though these people have magic they b are still primitive in thought and would they even understand how to combat this illness. Then again I am no radiologist and have no idea what I am talking about. food for thought.

    Also, first. Take trashy other eventual comment makers.

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    1. Radiation poisoning isn't a plague. Neutrons from Daniel's device create unstable isotopes in plants, animals, dirt, etc., which emit nasty radiation -- and that radiation kills, but does not propagate.

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  2. They suffocated inside their dead life-support-fruit. Not radiation.

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. People don't die from suffocation by radiation poisoning. They die from body system failures.

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    3. Never mind, argument invald. Radiation does not spread as easily as I thought. In fact it appears easy to contain. The infected site is dangerous, but a good washing and change of clothes prevents it from spreading.

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    4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. This is not so much an error as an impression of an error:
    In Book 3 Hecate says: I don’t suppose you could make a greater one than this?” (Kindle Location 5829) 'This' refers to the 60 pound power stone.

    However, in Book 2 its says that the central power source is "Visually it was just a big block of solid nickel-iron, probably five or six tons of it, which turned out to be near the upper limit of how big a matter conversion enchantment I could make."
    (Kindle Locations 3013-3014).
    (FYI, I did a quick google and this means it is less than 1 cubic meter)

    Based on book 3 the 'standard power source' is a 60lb granite cylinder working at 5x output for a given mass, but he says can output it at 30% higher. Even at +30% with 5x output isn't a 60lb granite cylinder way below his maximum possible from book 2?

    Now, I'm not saying your formulas are wrong because I have no idea how to calculate the comparison, but the perception I have is that it is way lower than what he can do and that Daniel is lying to Hecate (not a good idea Daniel!). Is my perception right or is there an error in the math?

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    1. I second that, this was the only "continuity error" that I could find in the book, apart from what actually happened to the godly banana.

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    2. I'll "third" the query, though I was leaning towards the 60lb stone being within 30% of the upper limit of a factory enchantment, and the 5-6 tons being near Daniel's theoretical upper limit. 'could also be a bit of subterfuge w/Hecate.

      The banana -- leaving it unmentioned might mean examining it/duplicating effects at the beginning of the next book...

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    3. Or maybe he just ate the banana. It would probably be important to note that Daniel found stone to be more powerfull than nickel iron for the matter/mana conversion, therefore making the new power "stone" smaller

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    4. His conversation with Hecate in regard to the power stone he gave her is a little unclear. He says he could scale up the 60 pound stone maybe another 30% before he hits the limits of his sorcery.

      I read this to mean that he could increase the rate it consumes the stone another 30% faster before the enchantment became unstable and not that he couldn’t make it bigger.

      The large nickel iron stone would still be more vastly more powerful than the 60 pound one just not as efficient.

      The larger stones just wouldn't be portable for Hecate to take with her presumably. Also be must have banished his old one when he took down the original keep.

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  4. Chapter 1, location 38:
    The long rows of support pillars cast serried ranks of shadows across
    the bar dirt of the floor, and the far end of the room was lost in shadow.
    Should be bare dirt.

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  5. [It will be days before they can assemble enough troops to invest the city again] -> [It will be days before they can assemble enough troops to invade the city again]
    -During the meeting right before Daniel drops his enhanced mortar bombs on the enemy wards

    Invest should be Invade


    Reposting from previous blogpost

    [It was a busy night," Steelbinder agreed.] -> ["It was a busy night," Steelbinder agreed.]
    -Last paragraph of chapter 3

    The first quotations mark is missing.



    Also, would you mind putting up a discussion thread? That way, all of the conversation can be focused on one place instead of spread throughout the multiple posts.

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    1. To invest a city is to surround it with troops and/or fortifications to begin a siege; I'm all for a discussion thread ;)

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  6. The whole Embla healing only hours before arrival and the undescribed week on the aircraft is not a fake continuity error. It makes no sense for Daniel not to have healed her himself if they were really all on that aircraft for a week.

    As for the banana. Not a continuity error, but an error nonetheless. When you suddenly introduce a fruit that can eventually lead to divine ascension to your mortal character, you make it clear what your character has done with that fruit unless there's a very good reason not to. Which there isn't.

    If you want to improve on 'not exhaustively explaining ever little detail' then stop exhaustively going over every little bit of math and construction project. Example: Daniel working out the kinks in his flight enchantment: zero character development, nothing new learned, just a bunch of useless exposition about technical details of magical flight. Many, many paragraphs that could have been condensed into a single sentence.

    Work on summarizing plot in an engaging manner. Don't cut out plot because of a lack of talent in regards to brevity.

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    1. Personally, I love the technical details, they are what makes these books so different and fascinating, without them Daniel would just jump from one deus-ex-machina moment to the next, pulling random powers out of thin air to defeat his enemies. By giving us context and detail regarding the process Daniel's powers become believable, it also gives us a real sense of the time it takes him to come up with innovations.

      Having the explanations lets me follow Daniel and invest in him as a character... don't ever stop explaining William :D

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    2. Seconded. Like the explanations. Gives me context on how the magic is working.

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    3. I'll third liking the explanations and learning the details behind how stuff works, it really helps me better picture the world in my head.

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    4. When you think about it "about a week" seems reasonable for the trip just by straight distance it would take about 2 days both ways 1100÷30, by the text we have 1 night on way in second night when storm forces them down around northern Baltic/Gulf of Bothnia.The fight takes place on mornig of 3rd day, presumably takes some time to fix/heal/prepare for weather (grounded for a while/slowed down) and then another 2 days to get back at least so right the minimum 4-5 days reasonably coud be 1or 2 more and we have our week or close to it. My bigger issue is with asian settlement rescue that has to be reasonably at least 3 times as far so I would expect at least 2 weeks trip but seems it was done in someting like 3 days or so unless I missed something.

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    5. I was concerned about the distance to the Asian settlement as well. However, IIRC the settlement is in Central Asia (highlands, mountain valley?). That means a one-way trip @ 40 mi / hr is approximately 70 hours (approximately the Baltic sea to roughly the middle of Central Asia) in duration.

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    6. Either way, it implies a great skipping of days or they never actually left until it was time to take Daniel to Skogheim (although it would make getting home hard).

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    7. The Svartalfar were in a hurry. So they had tailwinds both ways. And they know how to follow great circles.

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    8. Great circles are features of navigation on the surface of a sphere. They are the reason aircraft from London to New York head northwest although New York is south of London.

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    9. I'll fourth in favor of technical details. Characters development? Meh. It's Ragnorak. If he survives, he's got centuries to practice Zen meditation and develop his character. But I'm thinking that might be less fun to read about.

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  7. i just noticed that hecate was talking about a nuclear weapon in book 2 while they were talking on the river
    but she didnt know about it in book 3 when daniel had to explain it

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    1. Well she said she caught glimpses of Daniel's world so likely caught big flashy things but without much depth/detail.

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  8. Check your mail. The only real 'error' I found was the thing with the coven bond doing nothing during the Mara encounter; since every instance of her using her freedom powers prior to this has actually destroyed the bonds in question it seemed an odd change. But whatever, it's magic; ain't gotta explain shit I guess. Everything else is mostly commentary on strange behavior like Daniel always hedging the subject and not just straight up declining female advances if he really is not interested.

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  9. Chapter 5, location 1203.
    like the elevators in a modern office building in instead of the exposed platform design in the original keep.
    Extra word "in"
    Same paragraph,
    modern fire safety codes and build a set of stairs as well.
    Should be built.

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  10. It is a bit unclear how the Intrepid is piloted after the jump out of the ship. Presumably there's a real crew on board, yet this is never explained and a need to communicate a change of plans to them would arise.

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  11. Chapter 5, location 1330

    “There are already enough monsters in this world, Tina,” Elin said, sounded a bit dejected.

    Should be "sounding"

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    1. Or maybe skip sounding and use dejectedly? Tenses are hard.

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  12. So, here is something I don't get.

    In book 2 Daniel is having trouble summoning pure iron in large quantities because there isn't a whole lot existing in its pure form. However, in book 3 (albeit at lower quantities) he is able to summon aluminum in its pure form. He investigates this and determines that it doesn't matter if it is pure or not as the magic simply takes % of total planet into account.

    Did the rules change or is the spell hooking onto the amount of pure aluminum (mithril) refined by dwarves? I ask because there isn't a whole lot of pure aluminum that is naturally occurring. Most aluminum is some type of compound, right?

    Also, if his spell is now able to summon based on the % of the total planet regardless of alloy or molecular composition then we should now be able to summon pure iron without difficulty. I know Daniel has the 'aluminum is more abundant' thing going, but is that the whole planet? I think aluminum is only a few percentage points more common in the crust than iron, but when you take the mantle and core into account (especially the mantle as it is the greatest % of mass) wouldn't that mean the planet has more iron than aluminum overall?

    Continuing on with aluminum... is the airship pure (soft) aluminum backed by very strong reinforcements spells to keep it from being deformed? Book 3 implies that it is pure aluminum but I was assuming it one of the stronger aluminum + silicon + magnesium alloys. After all it is easy for Daniel to summon silicon what will all of the granite he conjures and magnesium is relatively plentiful.

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    1. AFAIK the difficulty lay in the providing the energy necessary to "filter" the pure element from the ore, molten core, etc.; now that he has created a factory powered by its own power stone, rather than having to power the conjuration himself with his amulet, he can conjure anything he likes, no matter how rare the material; i.e. no rule change.

      Alloys should be the logical next step, just posted regarding that in the discussion thread ;)

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    2. Is that what is was? Oh. I thought the problem was that the iron atoms were bonded and thus the molecules of pure iron were too few (%-wise) to easily conjure. I also thought that he was using a power stone in book 2 to conjure the iron, but I may be mistaken. Need to re-read.

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  13. As Daniel is introduced to the torture chamber holding Brand, human beings (presumably knights and wizards from Kozalin)

    1. yet nobody recognises Daniel
    2. Daniel doesn't care for their fate as Brand escapes

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    1. They were not mentioned when Mara and Daniel came out of the private room. It seemed to imply that with Korak there most of the Andregi that were guarding the room left. If I had to guess I would say the humans were quickly disposed of or taken elsewhere after Korak arrived and determined that with Brand there they weren't necessary.

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  14. First point if they recognized him they likely wouldnt just give it away, for the second the bunch of andregi torturers was mentioned as Daniel fights Korak so regular prisoners might have died by the time Daniel/Mara got back to Brand, seems a bit fast but possible.

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  15. DB wonders whether oranges are a New World fruit, yet he has beenn eating potatoes for weeks.

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    1. He may not know that potatoes are from South America. He may think they are from Ireland (they're not, but he may think that). Funnily enough oranges are not a New World product and have been in Europe for quite some time.

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  16. One in Black Coven: Daniel held Tina's breasts in his hands.
    He was short an arm at that exact time.

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  17. Just a note between Black Coven and Extermination, in Black Coven when Hecate is explaining how to kill a god by destroying their anchors, she uses the phrase "set off a nuke" but then in Book 3 does not know what nuclear physics is.

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  18. Minor continuity issue: Factory enchantment produces 100 pounds/minute of "mithril" when first building the airship, 20 pounds/minute when economic warfare against the dwarfs is planned...
    No real impact on the story, but indicative of a tracking need...

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  19. Extermination (Daniel Black Book 3) by E. William Brown

    although I took a page from modern fire safety codes and build a set of stairs as well.Read more at location 1212


    The hold was being big enough to hold two railroad boxcars crammed in side by side, and that was the important thing.Read more at location 1944


    He had to send messages home periodically to get instructions from his mysterious clan head, which gave me time to save who weren’t a complete painRead more at location 2013

    I got caught petty badly off guardRead more at location 3482

    “The fog won’t enter buildings, so they can withdraw to safely quickly enough from most of the positions.Read more at location 5222

    I could help but smile.Read more at location 5330

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  20. I didn't see a Black Coven typo list, so here are the typos I found there too:

    we’ve gathered a lot more materials that my men can move. (I'm pretty sure you mean "than," not that) location 203 •

    “No, I have decent little fighting band. location 468 •

    I built a fairly grand staircase leading through the roof to what I planned to where I planned to put the atrium, location 807 •

    Cerise was a total an adrenaline junkie. location 888 •

    After that I’m going to straight to bed.” location 1118 •

    With the Jade Emperor’s court send out heroes to put down the pestilence dragons? location 1325 •

    I’d trade my granddaughter for tool like that,” location 2399 •

    I had grown very tired to seeing my men die. location 2906 •

    Come on it, then.” location 4560 •

    There’s more to it that that. location 5920 •

    left black marks on ts pale hide. location 6874 •

    As the skimmer I was riding approached the gates I set of the mine at the far end of the causeway. location 7274 •

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  21. And Fimbulwinter:

    The window over the sink, which I was surprised to see was glass, had been smashed open to admit a steady stream of the creatures Their entry was contested by a platoon of gingerbread men armed with knives and forks, location 169


    but there’s a big different between a couple of bored gang members looking for someone to beat up and a pack of goblins trying to carve you up with swords. location 324


    They girls took my advice, making a beeline for the hoped-for safety of the guards while I turned to face the way we’d come. location 494


    maybe Avilla’s magic was having more of an effect that anticipated. location 1291


    I’ll just keep on like this until them. location 1415


    Free fight is way too tricky for me to try it with this many people involved.” location 1557


    He self-important demands were cut off when I slammed him into the wall with a burst of force magic. location 2318


    I was a bit more concerned that I let on. location 2377


    He stated towards the stairs, and I followed. location 2501


    I had far more energy available that the last time we’d done this, location 2712

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  22. OK guys love the efforts!! man we all love this story!!, I have read it twice now and I keep getting more detail and sense of the story flow. I know there is another oops that I caught but I don't see it here, it was a four or five word repeat. There were a few others as well I know one was where Hels ships were attacking and Hecates name was used instead of Hels. I guess I will just have to joyfully read it again and take me some notes! E. William, you need to put the donuts down and get back to writing, four months is just too long to make us wait! I will just have to send a note to Hecate to get you moving.

    all that being said, I must say comparing it to the majority of the SF we get on Amazon, yours was well written and relatively free of errors.

    Nicely done!

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  23. typos from book three:
    loc 1211 extra in, and build instead of built
    was able to set those up like the elevators in a modern office building in instead of the exposed platform design in the original keep. Much less scary for medieval townspeople to use, although I took a page from modern fire safety codes and build a set of stairs as well.

    Brown, E. William (2015-11-07). Extermination (Daniel Black Book 3) (Kindle Locations 1211-1212). . Kindle Edition.

    loc 1940 delete "being"
    The hold was being big enough to hold two railroad boxcars crammed in side by side, and that was the important thing.

    Brown, E. William (2015-11-07). Extermination (Daniel Black Book 3) (Kindle Locations 1944-1945). . Kindle Edition.

    loc 2097 add "he"
    He considered that for a long moment, before finally nodded.

    Brown, E. William (2015-11-07). Extermination (Daniel Black Book 3) (Kindle Locations 2101-2102). . Kindle Edition.

    loc 3383 shaped instead of shape
    A shaped loomed above me.

    Brown, E. William (2015-11-07). Extermination (Daniel Black Book 3) (Kindle Location 3364). . Kindle Edition.

    loc 3664 fall instead of fell
    He fall over backwards, and I laughed.

    Brown, E. William (2015-11-07). Extermination (Daniel Black Book 3) (Kindle Location 3665). . Kindle Edition.

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  24. On location 1010 "Tina said up, and shivered" I found more but I think they were already covered

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